Sunday, February 8, 2015

Dept. of Leagues Getting It Right

More to say on this point eventually, because even though the Northeast is generally buried under snow, folks are planning games and events and tournament dates throughout 2015 already. It won't be too long before we have yet another round of the Day The Northeast Rolled, when there's more derby than y'all can shake a stick at and not nearly enough officials to staff everything.

This league's staffing form is awesome. Leagues, please take note.

Monday, January 26, 2015

The 2015 season...

I've been stewing on this for some time because I wasn't entirely sure how to phrase it, but it's really been in the brainpan lately, so here goes. (Hang on, it's long.)

It's been sort of a crappy year for camaraderie in my derby world, and a year in which I was very pointedly reminded that self-care is always more important than derby.

I quit the MRDA, and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner, because that would have saved me a whole lot of heartache and misery. I also learned that just because we're in derby together, that doesn't make us friends. We might have a shared language and a shared love of the sport, but that sometimes -- often -- isn't enough to make up for someone being a jerk.

And, in truth, there have been jerks all along the way -- from the league owner who demanded officials pay dues and legislated the social behavior of officials, to the skater who bullied the officiating crew so relentlessly and without mercy that the league lost double-digits of officials, to the ref that was so mean-spirited and nasty to the crew of officials working a game that some of them actually left midway through rather than finish it.

I also for a little while was a moderator for a female-officials-in-derby group. Two of the women in that group were so vicious and so nasty in the course of a discussion about why there weren't any female skating refs on the final game of this year's MRDA champs and how disappointing that felt for an organization that (at least in my experience) had been pretty supportive of gender equality in officiating up until that point, and decided that I was bitter and unhappy (their words) and pissing all over their great achievements (my words). It sucked: something that I thought was kind of awesome and rad turned into something that was miserable and hateful -- so I left. Self-care trumps everything else, people.

Sometimes I'm the jerk too, apparently: I called someone out on a blog post they'd written anonymously, because I thought their points, however misguided they seemed, were interesting to discuss, and the next thing I know I've apparently started a blood feud (their words) because I'm a bully and a jerk (also their words). It sucks; I really dig their league, but now I'm never going to officiate there because I don't particularly want to be in this official's crosshairs.

Apparently I'm also a dick too. You can read the recap of last April's throwdown below, and I haven't really had the heart to touch the blog since -- despite having co-THR'd a pretty rad tournament in August. (More on that in a second.). Short version? I called out a terrible tournament name, and one of the THRs -- someone I'd actually thought I was on pretty good terms with -- of that tournament came after me, with a lot of vicious, nasty, attacking language.

What this means a year later? It means that I'm not really doing too many tournaments anymore because I don't particularly want to run into people who have been flat-out nasty. I don't want to run into that official. I really don't want to be on a crew with that official. I miss the days where everyone was more or less like, Yay derby! and the creepers and awful people were easier to spot, and the community actually rallied to protect its own instead of turning on each other.

But it also means that I've really actively backed away from more than a few people in the last almost-year because of what this official did and how people reacted to it. People shrugged off his behavior with a "oh, that's just how he is" and downplayed it. I get that; he just said some mean things; maybe he didn't really mean it; maybe he just lost his temper -- I heard all of these from people when it happened. And though there was an apology, that apology only came after I reported him to the MRDA and the WFTDA, and that apology rang hollow and false. We'll never be friendly again; I'm okay with that.

Here's the thing, though: I don't need to invite this kind of nasty into my life just because we share a hobby. I've learned this last year to back away from the things -- and the people -- in derby who make my what's-supposed-to-be-a-fun-hobby a lot less fun. But that's had collateral damage too; there are people that I don't hang out with any more because of how they reacted in defending him or people I see less frequently because I'm traveling less frequently to tournaments, or people who avoid talking to me -- or don't want to ask for references -- because they don't want to upset me. This one official being such a gigantic ass to me has had huge, rippling, complicated effects that I didn't expect.

One of the other things I didn't talk about much this year was banning an official from All 8. There was a fairly nasty high-profile sexual harassment case that happened out here over the last year-and-a-half, and there were threats, and it was awful. IS awful -- because despite a bunch of officials getting together and making it known that we were not going to share the track with this ref, despite sanctions and so on, there are places who still staff and defend this ref, and so there are more places I don't want to work as an official.

And this is maybe how derby just evolves; no group is going to like all of the members of the group all at the same time. Maybe it's worse for skaters; maybe this is why so many people leave. When I started derby back in 2008 I was told that an official had a shelf life of about two or three years; I've known a lot of people who have decided that it just wasn't worth it.

I'm not sure there's an answer, other than to say there are a lot of different ways into and out of derby. For me, I'm looking forward to a home season year. I joined a new league and that means some interesting changes, and that's kind of exciting. I get to co-THR a rad training tournament, and that's pretty awesome. And I get to find a way back into the awesome parts of derby and to stay away from the noise and the jerks and so on.

We'll see how it goes, I guess.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

I'm tired of holding my tongue on this one.

So, a while back, I got into it with some people on social media, as sometimes happens.

Some background you might need to know: I quit the MRDA last year, for a number of reasons I'll eventually write about, but doing so freed me up from a lot of frustrating committee work that was increasingly unsatisfying and from having to publicly back an organization that was very determinedly going in a direction with which I don't agree. 

Some other background that you might also need to know: I survived a mass shooting on my college campus when I was 18. Two people, one my friend and the other my mentor, were murdered, and I wrote a book about it last year, which a number of people in my derby circles have read.

So here's what happened. I was in Target, my phone pinged with a notification that I should "like" this new derby thing calling itself "Derbalife Presents: Screaming Bloody MRDA" and that name alone was enough to trigger a pretty nasty meltdown, because that's sometimes what my brain does when someone else makes jokes about murder, no matter how clever those puns might be.

Part of my point in writing the book was to be more open about this issue, because I can't always predict what my response to these kinds of things will be, and it's sometimes sort of a delicate thing for me in derby. There are an awful lot of violent names in derby, which are often considered part of the "derby culture" (whatever that means), and I've been on the receiving end of a surprising amount of what feels like abuse through a couple of rulesets that get ever-closer to actually making the abuse of officials a penalty. The move toward legal names in derby, though perhaps it takes some of the fun out of it all, at least shifts the emphasis away from more of those names that announcers can't say over the mic, though usually those banned or altered ones are more to do with keeping it PG-13, which means violence is OK but the racier stuff is right out (let alone the downright X-rated ones).

But what happens when officials go after other officials?

Later that night, I posted a status update on my friends-only personal page taking issue with the tournament name.  I wanted to call out the name and our sort of weird acceptance of certain kinds of violence (i.e. joking about murder's okay, but if the tournament name was punning on rape, people would be very quick to shut that down). What I posted was this: Sorry, folks. I love men's roller derby, but I am never, ever, going to "like" a tournament calling itself "Screaming Bloody MRDA." Murder is not a joke.  

I posted it on my own page, which is locked to friends-only, and the discussion kind of exploded in an interesting way. I'd wanted it to spark a larger-picture conversation about violence in derby without calling out the THRs in person, but one of the THRs took extreme issue with this, going so far as to call me "a dick" on my main page and then emailing me repeatedly abusive private messages (while he was in the process of unfriending and at the end of the exchange, fully blocking me). 

He began with: Just keep burning those bridges. Must be a nice view from that high horse up there. 
Last I checked no one asked you to work this tournament anyways.

I replied: Nice knowing you, [Ref]. Good luck with your tournament.

He replied: Keep stabbing your friends in public. You must have plenty more.

Me: At least I know how they are now.

[Ref]: Yup. I'm one who thought we were good enough friends that you would come to me in private instead of calling me out in public. Instead I found out I'm one of "them" you feel you can rail against. I'm so disappointed in you. You have no idea how much your post cut me to the quick. And you obviously give no fucks about my feelings. So I'm done. You are a big fake who talks big about feelings and then kick me in public like that. Fuck you.

Me: Right. Because you've been so supportive in recent months. Thanks. Be well, [Ref].

[Ref]: Keep playing your pity card. I'm glad I voted for adults for the MRDA board

Me: Me too. Because my life is actually a lot better without the MRDA, as it turns out.

[Ref]: Your high horse is all you have. You've got nothing else to cling to but a club so sled superiority you beat everyone else up with.  Quit writing to me. I'm not your friend. I'm someone you traded as a friend until you needed to make yourself feel better by insulting their work in public. Seriously, fuck off

Me: I'm going to stop responding, [Ref]. I hope your tournament goes well and you find some other outlet for your anger.


And I've kind of been stewing over this whole incident. I reported the ref in question to both the WFTDA and the MRDA, because that seemed like the proper official channels to go through. If this person had been a skater and talked to me this way after a bout, it would surely cross a line -- so why because it's a fellow official it seems less nasty somehow or something less worthy of reporting? 

Does it fall into the same category of the creepy skater who hugs you just a little too long post-bout? The too-handsy official on the infield? The ref who's nice to your face and you then hear calling you a douchebag or a bitch in their next breath as soon as they think you're out of earshot?

Later I was asked to write a reference for someone for this same tournament, because they'd listed me when they applied, and I balked at writing the damn thing because I didn't want to be seen as supporting this tournament in any fashion or sending someone off to work a tournament with a THR with a temper as nasty as this.

And I'm really tired of holding my tongue on it.

[4/10: An interesting update: after posting this and pinging the MRDA again about the issue, an apology has materialized. It feels a little hollow, and I think it only happened because a governing body got involved, but that's something, at least.] 

Sunday, April 6, 2014

well, this is an interesting find...

I was going through my Google drive this morning and found this blast from the semi-recent past (it was written and posted to the MRDA forums late in 2013 during the Board of Director elections) that I thought might be interesting to share more widely than I was previously allowed. I've also been thinking a fair piece about what RAWK had to say recently on the Derby Deeds podcast, and I still think these are good points that kind of got lost in some of the other stuff surrounding the election.

Each year the MRDA holds elections for their various positions, where each candidate is asked to write a letter of intent. The Director of Officiating is the only position that's had multiple candidates run in the last two years. While I haven't written very much about why I left the MRDA, since that's still a somewhat difficult and complicated topic, and I'm only four months out of the organization, I still think these ideas are worth discussing and now don't have to keep them buried, given that I'm no longer bound by the rules of that organization.

NB: I deleted the other material around the post (my qualifications, other formalities of candidacy letters etc.) in order to put emphasis on the ideas rather than the politics.


GOALS FOR 2014


I see six areas where we need immediate action from the Director of Officiating. If you have questions, I’m happy to discuss my ideas for any of these at length, but I wanted to keep this letter relatively short.


1. Stabilize Certification with Evaluation and Training.


These three programs have lurched about for a while, never quite settling into the support structure we need to really encourage development in officiating. The Certification program was announced on May 5, 2012, and is still not fully implemented--something is always on hold waiting for something else. When officials have to wait months for evaluations to be processed (some haven’t gotten feedback from Spring Roll yet), they get discouraged and the MRDA loses. We must address these three facets together to create a better environment for better officials.


2. Create a Tournament Staffing Advisory Panel.


In a model similar to the WFTDA’s, we should have an oversight committee made up of skaters and officials to select a tournament’s head officials and provide guidance on building officiating crews, and to make sure review and selection of applicants happens in a timely manner. While the panel’s only technical authority would be over MRDA tournaments, this is a service we could offer to other multi-bout events with a strong MRDA presence, such as The Big O, Spring Roll, and Mohawk Valley Cup, to help these events better staff for the level of play they’re attracting.


3. Create a WFTDA Officiating Liaison Panel.


In addition to our seat on the WFTDA’s Rules Theory Panel (currently held by Miss Trial), I would like to designate two other liaisons to WFTDA Officiating to help communicate shared issues between the two associations, in order to foster and maintain good, public cooperation and the betterment of officiating across both organizations. We have many people who work in both worlds and are well connected; let’s take advantage of that diversity of perspective.


4. Explore the creation of an Assistant Director of Officiating position.


I believe the Director of Officiating should not chair any of the standing officiating committees; that person should be an advisor to all of them, to facilitate cross-committee communication without getting bogged down in the politics or scutwork of any of them, and to represent the interest of the Board on all of them. With the list of initiatives above, this may still be more work than one volunteer should reasonably take on. We are better placed as an organization if we have more than one person who knows how everything fits together--developing natural successors to the Director job makes MRDA Officiating more stable overall.


5. Open the governance: “Town Hall” meetings and term limits for elected officials.


Many of our nearly 200 recognized officials seem to have developed the sense that their opinions don’t matter: they don’t vote; they don’t participate on the forum; they don’t apply to work tournaments or chair committees. They feel it’s the same people making the same decisions every time. We need to do better. Officials and skaters should all feel they can go to their Director, or to anyone on the MRDA Board of Directors, to raise concerns, ask questions, and participate in the governance process. I actively support the creation of a Town Hall / Open Cabinet meeting, where all membership can talk directly with the Board. The MRDA is an organization that we share, and for which we share a responsibility to make it sustainable.


6. Increase investment in the Association among officials.


We have many qualified people ready (or almost ready) to step into tournament and tournament crew head reffing, high-level training, and representing the MRDA to those outside of the organization, but we are not attracting interest. Better transparency in governance will help, and opening up jobs--leader and worker--will create opportunities for more officials to participate. New initiatives like those above call for new people to develop and show their strengths. This is what I do. I’m a teacher at heart; my instinct is to foster personal growth in people by giving them tools and support to take on new challenges.

Monday, March 31, 2014

File Under Things To Say / Things Not To Say

Tournaments doing it right
Acceptance letter includes: "Your acceptance is not a secret. Feel free to tell everyone."

Tournaments doing it less than right 
Rejection letter includes: "This isn't a training wheels tournament."

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

"Last I Checked Nobody Asked You To Work This Tournament Anyways"

I'm thinking about all of these things as we're getting ready to start work for All 8 On The Floor, which is a training tournament that I've been THRing for the last few years. There are so many tournaments now, which is both amazing and kind of exhausting, and officials are having a wide range of experiences with them.

Some tournament applications ask for references but the THRs aren't checking them. Some others offer early acceptances to tournaments with a strict "don't tell anyone" clause, where acceptances aren't made public for whatever reasons. There are a number of things that go into making a tournament work, but starting with these often sets a tone that sometimes does more harm than good.

My latest pet peeve: tournament applications that don't list the tournament head ref or the tournament head non-skating official.

I know that often NSO planning comes later, but I'm of the opinion that the head officials for the event should be clearly listed on the application along with the nuts and bolts about where the tournament's taking place, when officials are expected to be there, and so on. Most applications have most of this information, but too often the THR and THNSO information is left off the application.

Why? No tournament should be moving forward without these key officials in place. Why would an application elect not to use the THO (tournament head officials) of the event as a key selling point? Furthermore, why wouldn't you let potential applicants know for whom they might be working?

For me, at least this year, I've realized that it's important for me to know. Not everyone's styles mesh and there are people I like working for and people I won't work for any more. If I have to go digging to find out who's running the show, that's not good. That kind of thing absolutely influences whether or not I'll apply to work a tournament.

There are lots of legit reasons why someone might not work a tournament; maybe it's too far away or not worth the travel, or they won't get enough on-skates time to justify the expense. Maybe they don't want to work with certain people. Let your applicants know.

THRs and THNSOs are very much part of the appeal of a tournament. In many ways, they're the public face of officiating in promoting and recruiting for a tournament, and make or break someone's tournament experience. Often that happens before someone even gets through the door; how someone's rejected is important (pro tip: form letter rejections that don't even list the official's name are always the wrong choice) as well as what happens when someone's accepted.

If your THO is generally a jerk, that's an issue. If the THR is a little handsy or gives you the creeps, that's important to know. If your THNSO is going to say things like the title of this piece (an actual quote, sadly, that a THR recently sent my way), maybe that's not someone you want to work with in an official capacity. Or any. (And in my case, not someone I'm going to work with again.)

If your THO is someone you've liked working with before, that's important to know too. If they're someone who's organized and you think will run a good tournament, that's a factor to consider as well. 

To end on a positive note, here's one particularly good example of an application: Maple Stir-Up 2014. Check it out.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Some Nuts & Bolts -- officiating resumes and references (June 2012)

So, we're knee-deep in work for the upcoming All 8 On The Floor tournament that Worcester Roller Derby is hosting in August. Applications have closed, and now we're sifting through the applications. Generally, this sifting means going through the applications, looking at resumes, and checking references. We're doing this background work for two reasons; first, figuring out who we're accepting to work the tournament and who we aren't, but, second, where we're going to staff the people we do accept. (We use a similar process for Empire Skate Showdown, FYI, and those applications are still open for another two weeks.)

For All 8, we require people not only to submit an application but also a officiating resume.  We got some questions back about what that is, and I was reminded of a friend who tried building hers retroactively, which resulted in a lot of scrambling, hair-pulling, and misery.

We wanted to spare y'all a taste of that agony.

Your officiating resume is basically a list of what bouts you worked, when and where they were, who you worked with, and what you did when you were there.

As an example, here's mine -- messy link and all.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AgmrY8KZG3urdDJUWUFLdmdtU0o3RmRUN3o1ZDgzdmc#gid=0

Basically, it gives you an overview of what I've worked and what my development's been like as an official.

There are a lot of different ways to set these officiating resumes up. Mine could use a little tweaking; I don't have a section for Head Ref, which is really useful when you're trying to track down evaluations you'd like to have filed. Others have the official's contact information and league affiliation listed on them. I run mine with most recent bout first --  because otherwise you're scrolling through stuff I did in 2008. As I added more, I dropped things like those half-hour bouts that are really fun, but don't actually count as a bout, because they aren't full-length. Unless I'm working a full-length sanctioned or regulation bout, I usually don't list it--tournaments get listed as their own thing (i.e. Beast of the East, which I love doing, doesn't run any full-length bouts, so I don't list those individual bouts.)

Advantages:
You can pretty quickly track what you've done and what you haven't done, so if you're looking to diversify your experience, an officiating resume is a good way to see what you still need to do.
Also, you can show what you've done. I guarantee, if you apply for a tournament, and I'm THR and not totally sure who you are, I will look. I will check your references and read your officiating resume to see what you're doing and at what level. Those things help me decide where I want to staff you.


Couple of tips:
Grab programs from any bout you work; that way you have about all the information you need.
Update frequently, especially if you work every weekend.
Start now. That's why we wanted All 8 folks to start working on one; every tournament you apply to work will ask for one. Don't leave it until the last minute.

And, finally, a couple of quick notes on references:
Think of these like job references. You wouldn't list someone on your job application as a reference without asking them first. Don't do it here. (Besides, it's just good manners to ask!)

I recently got a reference check for someone whose derby name I didn't even recognize and emailed back saying, "Um, I'm not so sure who this is -- what league are they with? Where are they from?" and then, after some back and forth, figured out who it was! Don't be that guy.

Think about the quality of your references. You want to present yourself in a good light, but also a realistic one. Your head ref should probably be listed, but you'll want to think about who else can give a realistic and forthright appraisal of your strengths and weaknesses. Believe me, it's better to have someone who can say, "Yep, this person's pack definition is a little iffy--s/he calls 20 feet kinda short--but s/he is really solid at keeping pace and positioning on outside pack" than "This ref is awesome!" See what I mean? (PS: I made those up; we're not talking about anyone in particular here.)

EDIT: My favorite and least-useful reference reply so far: "[Name of ref] is a rules Yoda." Hilarious, but not at all helpful.

Choose references who are actually prepared to reply to a reference request.  I've sent a lot of unanswered email asking about officials, and it isn't a benefit to you if your references don't reply. It means I have less information about your skills and often affects where you end up being staffed, especially if you're newer.  Also, and though this point seems obvious, it's important: please make sure you actually list the correct email or phone number for your references. Double-check it, and then check it again before hitting that SUBMIT button.

As a side note, just because I don't think people know this point, it's considered (as far as I've learned, anyway) best practice not to have the tournament head ref be one of your references. I know, it's a drag, but think about it: it's kind of like listing the boss as your reference for the job you want to land, no? (This one I learned the hard way; it's also why I have three people on tap for references, so if an application only needs two, but one of my three is the THR, then I'm still covered.)